Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
