if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
