i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
That's when you crack a 10am beer
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didn't notice because vodka
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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