He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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