He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
