all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
