The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
