after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
