I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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