Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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