just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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