i just had sex bonerless
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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