Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize