so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize