My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize