the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
