He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
