love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
