your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
