I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
