cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
did i walk over a car last night?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
