We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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