We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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