Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
