Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
