I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
