bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize