so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize