new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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