There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
