so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
