He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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