do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
