There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
