toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
