I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
