eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
