I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
