I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
