Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize