drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
only you would photoshop your dick
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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