You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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