It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
