is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
