Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
