so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
