so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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