My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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