Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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