i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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