Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
