I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
