he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
