the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize