I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
