He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
