you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize