if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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