Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
