I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
