at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
