grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Vodka?
Forever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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