Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
