Your dad touched me again.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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