thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
