u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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