So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
