Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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