there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
