There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
