RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
